How Do You Handle Envy in Islam?

Is there a strategy for how to handle envy in Islam?

What Happens When Women Envy Women?

Whilst considering this question, the dynamic between women in Jane Austen’s novels strikes my mind. Remember Miss Bingley blocking Jane Bennet’s happiness with her brother, for envying her beauty. Perhaps Fanny Dashwood taking her mother in law and sister in law’s home, wanting it for herself. Not to mention Mary Austen kicking Jane Austen and her family out of their only home, casting them into homelessness, for her personal selfish gain. So do you see even from stories over 200 years old how much we recognise how we suffer when we act on envy? It ripples through generations.

Be True To Yourself To Extinguish Envy

The issue isn’t so much feeling envy, it’s acting upon it. For instance, I am studying The Mesnavi of Rumi. My teacher urges me to “find yourself in the story”. Honestly, this is a very uncomfortable thing to do. Uncomfortable but essential, for growth. For healing. For example – to reflect, I ask myself, who am I in the story of Miss Bingley? The truth is that the Miss Bingley’s, Fanny’s and Mary Austen’s of this world are common in “safe” and religious spaces.

Remember Who You Are 🦁

You are not a Bingley, a Dashwood or an Austen. You are Khadijah’s, Aisha’s and Fatima’s. Would Fatima رضي الله عنها have ever turned a sister away? If a person turned up to the door of Fatima رضي الله عنها they would never leave empty handed. An envious heart simply can’t be generous in a state of envy. This shows us that envy was absent from Sayyidina Fatima’s رضي الله عنها pure heart. This is our example.

Sayyida Fatima, A Cure For An Envious Heart 💚

Do you know that Fatima رضي الله عنها the mother of Hasan and Hussain رضي الله عنه gave away the ram skin her beloved children Hasan and Husain رضي الله عنه slept on, to a poor man who made Hijrah to Medinah? How many of us would put the needs of a stranger over the comfort of our own children? Can you find yourself in this story? Would you extend your hand to whoever crosses your path or would you withhold from the one you envy? Reflect, with honesty. Asking ourselves questions such as this and inviting a potentially uncomfortable truth, is like holding up a mirror. Once we witness envy in ourselves, we can extinguish it firstly with a generous heart.

Extinguishing Envy, Heals

The truth is, when we act on envy, we are breaking the Ummah and distancing ourselves from Allah. When women support women, doors open and incredible things happen. The Ummah heals. How can you harbour envy, when Allah has brought every person and all of their gifts, into your path? Do you recognise YOUR gifts? Comparison is the thief of inner peace.

If you witness envy creeping into your heart, recognise that the gift you are seeing in that person, was given to them by Allah. Thank Allah for His generosity towards them and ask Allah to increase them in it. Don’t compare yourself to them. Instead, practise gratitude for the unique gifts Allah has blessed you with too (we all have them). Adopt this as a practise and eventually envy will diminish. If you feel the temptation of envy remember the example of our generous Mother Fatima رضي الله عنها, let her be your guide and open your hand, like the hand of Fatima رضي الله عنه.